Monday, November 16, 2009

Savage

The indians gathered
ciricle around the fire
dance until hearts are content and feathers are ruffled.

The Great Father can see this
He smiles.

The indians call to the sky
brightly colored face paint to match
the colors of the clouds.

The Great Father can see this
He smiles.

The indians tell stories of how
the Great Father saved them
from generation to generation.

Oh but now, not now.
I am not indian, we are not indian.
There are no more indians.

Perhaps the Great Father closed His eyes
just for one second.

And the indians were gone.

Mostly I just think the Great Father weeps
for the lost children skin and blood red as the sunset sky.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A Couple of things. (not really)

Thing number one. I had a conversation with an atheist recently. He was all pissed off that christians could believe in a God that could allow so much harm to come to the world when He is fully capable of stopping it. The "free-will" argument has been long washed up in the minds of athiests so I put it this way. I had a rough upbringing by many standards. In fact my father-in-law brought it to my attention that we have seen more tragedy in my 24 years that he has seen in his lifetime. That was my life though. Never did I think that the God that I believe in was responsible. In fact I blame it on my own actions and the actions of those around me. This is a common misconception of God by christians and non-christians alike. As if God should be some cosmic superhero saving the world by striking down the bad guys and smiting those of us who stray. In fact it is my own belief that it is irresponsible of christians and even athiests to put the blame on God for our actions and those of others. I've been wrong before.

Thing number two. This one will have to wait. As I sit here trying to think of how to write it out I'm so heated that it might just sound like an anrgy rant. Dang.

Monday, October 26, 2009

I hear them all.

I have been writing some music and I hope to post some of it soon. As for now here is some of my inspiration as well as a song that reflects my recent mood. Enjoy.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

For Example

I talked about this in my last blog. Now it is in the paper, the perfect example. Read this.


http://www.visaliatimesdelta.com/article/20091014/NEWS01/910140307/Parolees-say-they-were-directed-to-homeless-encampment-by-their-parole-officers&referrer=FRONTPAGECAROUSEL

Monday, October 12, 2009

people person

I like to watch people. People are interesting to me. We are a complicated work of cells, tissue, muscle, emotions, ideas, dreams, and all these things and in no specific order.

We all have grown up with a set of beliefs and ideas of how things should be. These things are shaped by people who were shaped by people who grew up with a set of beliefs and ideas of how things should be. This goes all the way back to the beginning of humanity. I see this when I look at people. Their ancestors, their parents, their shape.

People have issues. We all do because we are all people and are a result of our being shaped from the beginning of time by people who had issues. People, however, have a tendency to overlook this.

There is this homeless man who comes into the café and he always asks for food or coffee. I usually pay for his coffee or give him bread that would generally be thrown away, because people do not like bread ends, just the homeless. Sarcasm aside though, I once talked to the man and asked him where he was from. He told me his story. He told me how he confided in this health and human services director in Sacramento who, after gaining his trust, shipped him to his current location far from home. They were trying to move the homeless out of their town. Yep, you have read correctly, they were taking out the trash. This man was treated like garbage to be discarded, out of sight. Now he refuses to stay at a shelter for fear that this might happen again.
This man needs help. He is old and brittle and hungry and tired. But the one person who should have given it ruined this man’s view of who he should and should not trust.

We are all like this in a sense. Our parents did not pay attention to us so now we have self-esteem issues and sleep around to look for that attention we desperately need. Our parents put us up for adoption so we have abandonment issues. We were abused so we fear or hate authority. We grew up in houses that taught us that violence was the norm so when we are wronged we lash out violently.
But people do not see this. They do not see other people that need some direction or are crying for help or cannot trust the people who will help them. They see the murderer, and he needs to be murdered. They see the adulteress and she needs to be shunned for her actions. They see the thief and they need to be dealt with swiftly.

When I was homeless I stole because if I didn’t my sisters would go hungry. I was 13 years old and I knew I could not pay for food. I knew that people would not give me food for free. People did not take pity on me, I was a thief.

I do not see thieves, murderers, adulteresses, or liars. I see people.

If only we could all see people.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Second class

First things first. I think I have discovered an artists equivalent to writers block. I have several paintings that I have yet to finish nor do I like them very much. This comes at a bad time seeing as how I am supposed to be preparing for a showing among other art related projects. Perhaps the nice weather will inspire me.

I have been writing some songs however and I can post those soon.

Today I am incredibly frustrated. I often am treated in a way that makes me recall how I was treated in my youth which is frustrating. Usually it is a smal silly thing. Today it was just that. I am the only student in my Bio class that does not have a seat. This is frustrating seeing as how I am one of the students who was enrolled in the class. Others who have crashed the class have seats. I have taked to my teacher about it and he does not seem to care. In fact yesterday he moved me to the back of the class. There is no desk space, I cant see the board to take notes, and im in a high chair at a low table. When the teacher puts out supplies he puts them in groups of four which works for everyone seeing as a table sits four. It does not work for me because im not at a table. Today was the worst of all. He came to the back and was giving lecture in which he stood in front of me (literally, and only a couple inches away from me,) and addressed the class.

Today I went into class and there was a lady handing out review surveys for the class. I went to my normal seat in the back and when I went to the front the lady said "Oh don't worry about it." And what I heard was, "Oh this is only for students with seats."

It is official, I am a second class student.

Now this is not normally a big deal and I am not implying that my teacher or this survey lady are racist. They are just disrespectful and inconsiderate. Some people are like that. The problem is that it frustrates me to no end. I will probably think about it all day! There is a huge injustice serviced to second class citizens and races everywhere. (Not at all unlike second class students.) And the survey ladys of the world could care less.

This is where I get a little political. (Or alot depending on where you sit.) I get that there is a problem with socialism and universal health care and all that jazz. My problem is that so many people are praising capitalism. "You work hard and all will be well for you," they say "but you must work hard." There is also this idea that poor folk do not want to work, they want to live off the government and so it is there faut somehow. I am not saying that does not happen but here is another example for you. I was working the field by the age of 12. I worked my butt off and picked more grapes than some of the grown men out there. By the time I was done however, all I had was a few scars and good stories to my name.

I had a friend who discovered that bikers (motorcycle riders) have a secret wave that they give as they pass eachother. She had not noticed this before and it struck her as odd that there would be a wave that says, "Hi im a biker. I see that you are a biker too." She went on too say that she wished people treated eachother like that. I mean why cant we wave at a total stranger as if to say, "Hi im a human. I see that you are a human too."

I am with her. Cant we all just be human?