Friday, July 16, 2010

poem

I like Sherman Alexie. Here is why:

Indian Boy Love Song #1

Everyone I have lost
in the closing of a door
the click of the lock

is not forgotten, they
do not die but remain
within the soft edges
of the earth, the ash

of house fires and cancer
in sin and forgiveness
huddled under old blankets

dreaming their way into
my hands, my heart
closing tight like fists.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

a few things

I have been having random thoughts while working today, here are a few.

1. Recently(for the millionth time) I was told that I am too nice to have come from the hood. I have been thinking about it for a few days now. Here is what I say. Never underestimate the humans will to survive. And survive is all we did back then.

2. I think that the forefathers declared "Seperation of church and state," to keep politics out of church, not the other way around.

3. What type of training does a police officer need to tell the difference between a gun and a taser? Im willing to pay for that myself. (google "oscar grant")

4. A list of short stories to read:
What You Pawn I Will Redeem-Sherman Alexie
The Things They Carried-Tim O'Brian
This Is What It Means To Say Pheonix Arizona-Sherman Alexie
The Man In The Brown Coat-Sherwood Anderson

That is all for now.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Do this

Fixed on this.

Once,
I was taught how to be a human being.
Then,
I was old enough to realize that we no longer know what that is like.

I tried to teach myself these things.
Love and compassion, honesty and humility. In the event of my demise I hope to have accomplished at least one.

I keep having this debate about helping people. My church, they are afraid of it. If we do not have this though, what do we have? Have we not been entrusted with loving Him and loving others? I keep hearing the argument "What if they take my money and buy drugs? Then I am hurting them." As if it were for us to decide. Sure, we do not have the Lords ability to see the soul, but let them answer to you about what is yours and answer to Lord about what is His.

More about this later, I have to go get a physical. My future employers way of making sure that I am of the unimpaired persuasion.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Words

Im glad nobody reads this crap.

I started writing a book about my life and I realize just how terrible it all really was. What a curse. An assemblage of disfunction. But that is not all that I realized. I also realize that some experiences served the purpose of making me who I am. There is no escaping that. Regardless of how good or bad we think we had we are all proprietors of some serious disfunction. In fact, everything about our personality is somehow shaped by this. Yes we can change and learn, but the desire to do so comes from this very thing. The cycle will never end.

The learning portion is interesting. I don't think I learned a whole lot from my experiences until many years after they occured. Funny though it may sound, I still am not sure what the heck it was all about. Suffice it to say that, it is what made me who I am. Never do we get away from any of it.

Im okay with that.